Hope…What an incredible word. It is what holds us in anticipation, and it is what can spark your individual greatness from within. It is always looking forward at the possibilities, and cannot be held back in the past. You hope for the future, you look back at your past.
Cancer has taught me a lot about hope. Of course there is the obvious things to hope for. I hope I get better, I hope my treatments are not “horrific”, I hope I make it long enough to see my children grow up (that was a big one this second time around), I hope I don’t get sick again, and finally, I hope that I not only get better…but I also hope that I don’t get bogged down by the ramifications of being “afflicted twice”.
Hope is what I wake up with every morning. Some of my hopes are whimsical and shallow. And that is okay. While it would be great if those hopes were achieved sometimes, I don’t hold my breath for those. – rather, I enjoy the frivolity of the hoping. You know those thoughts…”I hope I can lose 30 pound by Friday”, or “I hope I can eat this gallon of ice cream and still fit into my jeans tomorrow”, and of course, I hope to have the chance to meet Hugh Lurie, Hugh Jackman and Zac brown, because I am a huge fan. These are delicious little nuggets that help me smile on days that aren’t always filled with smiles.
Then I have hopes that aren’t necessarily about me, but are about my family. These are ones that really affect my emotions. Because these are things I hope for my children, my Husband, my brothers and sister-n-laws, my nieces and cousins, my friends. I want, no I hope, for them way more than I hope for myself. My hopes for them are lofty and rich. I hope for them to get what they want, because I hope they will always be happy. I know that it is important not to always get what you want, but I am a mother first. And I hope, all the time, I can take away any pain or sorrow my children go through. But I can’t always do that. But I am aware that my children also have there own frivioulous hopes…And I encourage them…I think these are what is meant by “Hope springs eternal”…
My daughter, for example, hopes to be a star. Her hopes don’t have a pathway to achieve this, or a definite area in which she chooses to become a star…She just hopes for stardom…and I hope she becomes one as well. Though, she has no definitive pathway as to what type of “star” she wants to become…her hopes are lovely and endearing (and not unlike many teenage girls), and I hope to help her head that way (though honestly, I hope she finds another hope as she gets older).
My son hopes for more simple things. New videogames, to be better at certain sports, and his biggest hope is that he never has to do homework again. But of course this last one is not gonna happen. But he can always Hope.
My mother, well I think she hoped that she would be okay when she moved away. Well we were there this week, and boy she is okay. She has a brightness and lightness to her spirit. One which I haven’t seen in so long. Her melancholy is present, but is being trimmed with hope that her next stage in life will have joy and adventure.
So I guess I just hope all of those I love to get what they hope for. Because then I get what I hope for. Who could hope for more!