Well, what can I say? I started this blog in May of 2011. For many reasons. To tell the good the bad and everything in between. For those who are just starting to follow, here is my recap.
It all started in college (my senior year). I got cancer (Hodgekins Disease). Had a surgery, stayed in Boston to have treatment, lost my hair. Lost a lot of weight. Felt pretty lonely but graduated college. Moved back home to NY. Got a job in the entertainment industry (a talent agent and personal manager). 6 yrs of my life total. The industry went on strike for 9 months. Ran out of money, took a job in the Apparel industry. Nicole Miller, Herbert Grossman Ent. ABS Suits (from assistant to President in 12 years). Got Ulcerative Colitis (side effect of radiation). Begin to gain weight. Met a guy, lost some weight, got married Had IVF (after treatment only way for me), Had twins. Gained a lot of weight. Worked part-time for a while. Had a few heart issues (side effect of treatment), decided to stay home with twins full time. Son had some hearing issues till he was 5, so delays in learning followed. Found out my daughter was dyslexic and had executive functioning issues. Even happier I stayed home. Gained some more weight. Fought tooth and nail with school district to help my children, a never-ending battle. A full-time battle. Dad has Parkinson’s and Mom gets cancer. Surgery to remove part of her jaw and palate and radiation. Lost some of the weight. She is superwomen – bounces back. I get Breast cancer (side effect from treatment), have chemo, Unlike most, I gain weight. I bounce back, lose some of the weight and get on with my life. Kids are freshmen in college, I am back on a diet, (down 12.6 lbs) from my highest. And now, you are pretty much up to date. What can I say; things WEIGH on me differently
So why now? What is it I want to talk about know? What is wrong? Let me dispell any health issues! I am healthy! I am not skinny, but I am not overweight either! I am, however, bored out of my mind. Not the reason I am writing this either. I am intelligent, funny, personable, reliable, intuitive, giving, relatable; all this and I have plenty of time on my hands. Jeez! Just looking at this I know what I prize I am! : 0. I made the decision it was time for me to go back to work. For many reasons; yes one is to keep me away from my refrigerator, but that is not in the top 10 reasons. I have so much experience to offer, but the first step is online now. I find it very difficult to show all that I am on the computer. HR people don’t even call back. It is definitely a challenge to present my 3 dimensionalities on a one-dimensional playing field. I laugh at these issues. I know I am a square peg trying to pixelate into a small screen, but I just want to be able to use my skills to help – in any way that is possible. I fear that on paper I seem unworthy. Or to worthy someone told me. Someone said to me once, “The problem is you are overqualified.” I laughed. She asked me why that is funny? My answer was, “Why wouldn’t you hire someone who has more than you need instead of hiring someone who has just enough of what you need?” I am 57 – I am not looking to climb the corporate ladder; unless I am climbing it with the person I work for. I am not looking for a career I am looking for a home….for the next 15 years at least….But, alas, I have had no luck so far. But like with cancer, I have no intention of giving up. I will find something.
But let me address the reason I am back writing! I love to write. I love to write about my thoughts and hopes! I love to write about lesson’s I have learned. I love to write about things that bother, concern, intrigue and affect me! I am an open book; and I am trying to write my story and maybe, even, help rewrite the next chapters (or change what may be to come). My husband and children are my muses. But the other day I read something posted by @Hilary_Gumbel. And this inspired me to write again,
I loved this because as I responded to the post, “knowing this and understanding this to be true is Perfection.” My life is far, far, far from perfect. And my goal is NOT to be perfect. My Perfect goal, however, is to be happy, healthy, (yes, skinny), and full of joy. I am not there yet. But I will persevere and eventually…
In the meantime, I hope you follow along on my journey. I do not know where I am going, or how I will get there. But I am sure the road will be paved with laughter, silliness, joy, heartache, sadness, and frustration. “life ain’t perfect, isn’t that perfect!”