Honestly, what’s so funny about cancer? Well believe it or not there has been plenty. If I look back at the last year, what I remember…is the Funny. Not the crappy. So I thought it was the time in the movie (or the blog) for the flashback sequence. All of these sties have been told or glossed over in previous entries, but if you look at them as a whole: I could see “Cancer ” the sitcom
Lets begin at the beginning.
In February, I was still meeting with Dr.s and Surgeons and deciding a course of action with regards to having a Mastectomy or not. My friend Wendy knew a women who had been to the the Surgeon I was considering — Andrew Ashikari. Anyway she had introduced my to this woman who was incredibly helpful. She even offered to come to my house so I could see and touch and feel the end product (notice how I made a ‘boob job” sound classy). It was a Sunday morning, and my husband was on carpool duty when the woman came to my house. After talking to me about what was going to happen, she took off her shirt and let me “feel her up”. Frankly, it was amazing, awkward, and weird all at the same time. But what an unbelievable help. Knowing and seeing what was going to happen was huge — (figuratively speaking of course). My husband and I giggled about this for days. What he wouldn’t have given to be there to watch me.
Many memories included my friends. Like my 1st day at chemo. Julie and I walked into this long white, long room. each area was divided by those curtains you see in emergency rooms. But very few of them were drawn. Almost all of the chairs were taken, and I wasn’t exactly sure which way to go. I just looked all around – as all of the patients looked at me – the newbie -And said loudly. “Excuse me which way to the bar…I have a reservation, so if you could just call us when our table is ready!” And we started laughing. Even a few of the patients (who were already hooked up to their chemo cocktails) started laughing.
Of course the many, many days where I left the house to run an errand, and half way to my destination realized that I forgot why I was going or what I was going for. And usually came home with many items from the grocery store…but not 1 that was on my list.
I have memories of times I would laugh at myself or my circumstances. My friends and I were always able to joke. I remembering making fun of my friend Amy when she didn’t text me back immediately (she was in surgery at the time — like that’s a valid excuse). texting her “I can’t believe you didn’t text me back…I have cancer you know!” Stupid and childish – yes…but lite-hearted and funny — also yes! Why not be childish and silly…all the other stuff going on was so serious –which is why I always looked for the funny!
And then of course their was the weight gain. Certainly always a source of horror and Humor for me – mostly horror. Since I constantly talk about how much I have gained through this whole order. But this particular evening was during the US Open. Serana was on the court and we were at Amy’s having dinner. Amy’s family, Elaine’s family and all of us. Sititng on the couch was Amy, Dan, and 2 of their children; Elaine, my husband, my son and I. We were watching her intently when someone said “look at the size of Serena…all muscle whadda ya think she weighs?” I said “180 Lbs” Scott said, in his way, “NO Way…She is big, but not that big. 180 Lbs is a lot for a woman to weigh.” and with perfect comedic timing, I turned to Elaine and Amy and loudly, yet demurely, “Uh Oh!” And as the tears of laughter came rolling down our faces…I realized how great laughter feels. IT is truly JOYOUS!
I am talking to my 3 new friends going through this ordeal. For however much it seems like it is going to suck (and of course that is true) I just want you to know – that night (and many others) there was no cancer anywhere…just laughter. I tell you this because I know it doesn’t seem possible, but it is. These times can be about other things…not just about being sick. Look for the humor, cause there is funny here…and the funny is what brought me to where I am now — on the flip side helping you who are just at the starting line.
I will be here with you all the way through and will be waiting with a joke and smile at the finish line…